(LDF)

When I opened my Facebook memories notification dated July 2^nd, I did not expect to find a memory that was of one of my best friends posting about how we were always out on this date, from two years ago. I took a screenshot of it and forwarded it to my best friends. Both of them showcased a desire for that status to still hold true.

My best friends and I have been in a long-distance friendship for more than a decade. Yet, we have been best friends for more than a decade too. I shifted to another country ten years ago. Then when I shifted to India for higher studies, I was finally in the same state as them, but alas, not the same city. It was the closest I had been with them for a while, and honestly, I would take this than being in a completely different country, again.

Long-distance friendships are hard. I know how dreadful I feel when I leave for college, knowing I will not be able to see these two homo sapiens who fill my life with so much joy for days, weeks or months. It was the same feeling I had when I was at the airport at the end of every summer or winter vacation.

A con you face when in a long-distance friendship is that you cannot run over to your best friends’ when something minor or major happens in your life such as crying because you dropped a glass or that you were adopted by the British Royal Family. You have to text or call them to deliver such news. Moreover, if you are anything like me or my best friends, sharing any sort of news via an electronic device is not an exciting option, so you hold it back and wait to meet your best friends to drop bombs. And that, folks, requires patience and perseverance. Plus, more often than not, the small things get lost in the struggle of living life daily, so the experience of running to your best friends for every small inconvenience for the sake of ranting is lost.

Missing out on special occasions is also one of the things that you face when you are in a long-distance friendship. I don’t remember the last time I celebrated my birthday with both of them because it was so long ago. Coincidently, I have always been in the city for one of my best friend’s birthday, but I hadn’t (until recently) celebrated my other best friend’s birthday for the past ten years.

The worst of all are the fights. It is very hard to resolve all the misunderstandings and problems via text or call. You are suddenly so desperate to fly to them and talk it out with them. Neither can you comfort them when they are at their lowest. There are also times when you completely lose touch with them and when you return, it is like you or they are a different person.

However, despite the above-mentioned disadvantages, long distance friendships are worth it. And I don’t say this, as you have read, out of experience or without any expertise in the subject. I have been doing this for years, and I know that every single time that we meet, there are different circumstances to them, different duration to the meets and maybe, a different person. But what does not change amidst all of the differences, is the three of us together. 

When we three are together, we feel excitement and love and just an overall feeling of positivity. This feeling makes us realise what our friendship is worth and how important it is for all of us. This feeling acts as a motivation to not let our friendship die because of a few kilometers in between us.

We catch up on things. Yes, it definitely differs from the moments when you actually go rush to them and tell them things effective immediately after the event occurs. But it is also liberating in a way, and it also acts like an element of surprise in all of our mundane lives. Furthermore, with the advent of technology, even if any one of us does feel like ranting about the pettiest things, we simply text each other, in full caps, with the worst spelling errors, sans punctuations, multiple emojis, with our adrenaline at its peak and then dying after we are done. 

Since we are on the “element of surprise” bit, it is such a beautiful feeling to surprise your best friend on special and non-special days. And it is exciting to see a plan you made being executed successfully too!

It IS hard to have fights in a long-distance friendship, but you find a way through that. It may not get completely resolved while you are apart, but eventually, it falls into place. What’s more is that nothing a few texts and mediation by your other close friends does not help. The latter is not ideal, but rather necessary when you are apart.

But of course, everyone’s situation is different and I am not here to preach. Here, I simply share my experience of being in a long-distance friendship. So, maybe some of the things that I mentioned, you, reader, have not experienced in yours.

There are two sayings: Distance makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. At this point in my life, I have more long-distance friendships than ever, and I can assure you that the former saying applies to most of them, and that in itself is a motivation to not hamper a friendship built over a year or a decade or somewhere in between.